My brother came to stay and he stinks so bad I can smell him in the next room
DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my brother came to stay with us recently, I could smell him in the next room. He rarely showers, his car is like a pigsty and so is his flat.
I’m 49 and my husband is 50. My brother is 54. I told him to take a bath but he said he hates water.
It’s a wonder his work colleagues haven’t complained. He needs to wash his clothes and his bedding too.
My husband worries he may be depressed and when I asked him, he said he’d been depressed for years.
Our parents used to do everything for him and felt sorry for him if he failed.
I believe he thinks everything should just be given to him on a plate.
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DEIDRE SAYS: People suffering from depression can feel infuriating but scolding him won’t get him to change. Is he being treated for his depression? Not just medication but counselling and support with self-help like exercise?
My e-leaflet on Dealing With Depression could help you both.
But he may be very resistant to change and the best help you may be able to give is to tell him you love him and show him you care.
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