I caught my wife bedding an old friend after coming home from work early
DEAR DEIDRE: I CAUGHT my wife having sex with an old friend from her schooldays. It’s shocked me to the core.
After finishing my shift early, I found her car on the drive when I got home. It was a day when she’s normally at work. Alarm bells were ringing before I even got through the door.
I caught my wife bedding an old friend after coming home from work early[/caption]
As soon as I got into the hall, I could hear my wife giggling in our bedroom, then moaning. There were sex sounds and our bed was creaking.
At first I thought she was watching porn — and I was slightly turned on. But when I walked in, I found her with this other guy.
They realised I was there, froze and pulled back from one another. The friend apologised and started to dress hastily. I was too shocked to react.
I was angry but let him leave. I was more upset about my wife. Cheating is a deal-breaker for me. I’m 31, my wife is 28 and we have been married for five years.
The idea of divorce has crossed my mind but I don’t want to rush things through when I’m in such a state[/caption]
She was panicky, saying it was a mistake and apologising profusely.
But it was hard for me to believe her, given my mental state and from seeing them having such intense sex. We’ve always had a great and loving relationship. Our sex life isn’t too bad, either.
It all hit me like a punch. I managed to stay calm enough to listen to her as I thought I ought to hear her side of the story. My wife told me they had known each other in the past because they were in the same class at school.
They had never dated, though she always found him interesting as a person and met a few times to catch up on old times. She said when I’d caught them it was the first occasion she’d let him get close to her. She had invited him over to our house, our marital home and into our bed.
My wife has acknowledged my feelings but is insists we work things out[/caption]
I’m still digesting it all. We haven’t talked much since then. My wife has acknowledged my feelings but is insists we work things out. She has promised to cut contact with this guy and to be more involved in our relationship in future.
This betrayal is very harsh, deep and I am struggling to trust her.
The idea of divorce has crossed my mind but I don’t want to rush things through when I’m in such a state.
THREE-quarters of parents set no online filters yet I often hear from youngsters being targeted by older online predators.
And I have heard from kids as young as 11 worried about an online porn habit.
My e-leaflet Staying Safe Online has guidance for young people, parents and other adults.
Email me for at email@example.com or private-message me on Facebook.
Popular Dear Deidre problems
DEIDRE SAYS: You are shocked and feel betrayed but are right not to do anything hasty you might later regret.
Your wife sounds as if she is feeling very guilty. She is promising to cut all contact with her old friend and be firm with her that she must mean it.
She has behaved badly and is right to feel repentant but this won’t have come out of the blue.
Something was going wrong between you two for her to take such a stupid risk.
Tell her you both need to do a lot of hard work to see if you can rebuild your marriage. My e-leaflet Cheating – Can You Get Over It? explains.
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